Perspective

Unconventional Blessing # 2

 

I am continuing to discover tiny little blessings, lessons and truths that I may not have learned if not traveling down this terrain in my life.

My 2nd unconventional blessing is:     Having a Shorter Friend List

I had to re-evaluate what that word, or title meant – friend. It means so many things for so many people and often times it’s the root of a lot of drama. But that’s definitely NOT the way it’s supposed to be.

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another – Proverbs 27:17

There are two givens in life: You will have good times and you will have bad times. Those are just the facts of life. The fact is this past year has been filled with one too many emotional breakdowns. I went through some dark patches during this time and I felt helpless because in my mind I failed my children and myself. Financial stresses, maintaining my grades in school, driving all over the place with the girls and just the normal mom/wife stuff all seemed like an avalanche plastered on my chest.

All of this caused me to re-evaluate my life, including my friendships.

By no means is this some type of bash post, complaining about the people I know. Absolutely not! It’s not like I surrounded myself with a bunch of low-lives and bad influences. However, I write this because I now understand that not everyone will be my best friend, and I’m totally ok with that. Things changed in my life, and that caused people to change around me somehow. Some people felt uncomfortable with asking me what was going on or felt offended that I couldn’t spend as much time with them as they wanted and faded out of my life, while others shined like beacons of light coming to my rescue.

This also doesn’t mean I’ve gone on a rampage and “unfriended” a bunch of people from my social media and give them a serious case of the side-eye when I see them. That would be silly! I’ve simply recognized that I can’t hold all people to the same standard of friendship. I have some people who can make me laugh at the drop of a dime, but they won’t be the first person I call if something happens. I’ve created healthy expectations so that I don’t feel disappointed when people don’t come through like I “think” they should.

Who I surround myself with has greater implications that I used to think. My friendships influence my entire family and I more aware of that now. As I find myself connecting with other families, both online and at my church, it’s refreshing to feel the community of people who even though they may not be in my place, extend love and grace to me.

I am blessed because of this. Blessed because I have strong, amazing, honest, loving, hilarious and most importantly Godly women around me. I am encouraged and strengthened by them. It took difficult times to become more purposeful and intentional about the people I wanted in my inner circle. I don’t just want to be surrounded by a bunch of people, or a bunch of shallow, superficial people all the time. Substance, loyalty, honesty, and grace are just a few things that come to mind when I think about the people I want to surround myself with because it’s the person I want to become more and more each day.

Even though I’m not Mrs. Popular and don’t have a ton of people who give me “LIKES” and thousands of followers on social media, I am happy to say that I am truly, deeply blessed by what God is doing in the midst of the people He has brought (and may bring) my way! Besides, quality beats quantity any day! 🙂

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